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SOUL MATE

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SOUL MATE

Plato sez
We're each part
Of one broken being
That yearns to be reunited
But take it from me, buddy
Merging with the Mysterious Other
Is no picnic.

She's neat and you're messy
Wants sex when you don't
She's plain and you're dressy
Hangs out where you won't

You don't really want a soul mate
She's all and everything you're not
You don't really need a soul mate
How about a tetanus shot
Instead?

Compared to joining with my soul mate
I would pick a firing squad
Making love to such a creature
Would be a lot like fucking God

You don't really want a soul mate
She's all and everything you're not
You don't really need a soul mate
How about a shot of bot-
ulinus neurotoxin instead?

You're on time and She's on acid
None of you has half a clue
What the other feels is sacred
What the other thinks is rude

You don't really want a soul mate
She's all and everything you're not
You don't really need a soul mate
But She's all you've really got

Face it, bozo
You're hooked, addicted
Couldn't exist without Her
Need Her like the Sun, Moon and stars
Love Her madly, insanely, unreasonably
Till death do us

Part of me wants
What?

To sit alone and masturbate
Or lift the phone and call my mate?

Hello, dear
I miss you
Feels like you're part of me.